Death. What is it? Can there be different perspectives of it? To have experienced death before, what does it really feel like? Death -- it can be part of life. Or at least, I've experienced it before.
To feel to have died for two hours. JUST two hours you may say, but it felt like eternity. It seemed like nothing else mattered anymore, it's just yourself and the world crashing down on you. The feeling of having a priceless asset that you could ever have in your entire life and thereafter, losing every ounce of it. Or rather, trying to hold on to that single faith that the two people that mattered there and then would not lose faith in the other. Seems complicated? It's really heart-wrenching to know everything, and i mean EVERYTHING, but not knowing what to do at all. How crappy can that even start to feel?
And then that trigger comes and you're dead. No life, no shadow of a soul is within you, and there you are floating. Literally. Tears sear in your sockets but it just wouldn't come out. Your heart feels the pain but there's nothing you can do. Feel helpless? Totally. That is death, part of life. The death of hope being held on for so long. The death of faith lingered by a thread.
But there is something else that is born with it. Like a phoenix emerging from the flame. The birth of friendship. A friendship stronger than before, even, starting stronger than any other before. The love of sisters that started like there's no other. What is that sweetness? In my dialect, 苦中一点甜. Leave it, as a voice of wisdom would say and you would get clear water even when the water was muddy before as the sediments settles down.
In life, we learn from the lessons that take us further each day. In death, we learn from the pain that makes us stronger each day. It is the love revealing from within that makes everything worthwhile. For me, the love of a beloved friend and a dear sister.
Life is too short to wake up with regrets. Love the people who treat you right, forgive the ones who don't and believe that everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance, take it. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said that it'd be easy. They just promised that it would be worth it.
i blowed at,,
5:44 AM
